Cate just asked me how my day was. Should you lie to your child? Should you hide your pain from the seven year old? Should you let them only see the pretend, fake side or should you open up?
Today I chose to open the doors and am amazed at what walked in.
I've been blue lately. Really blue. Dark, navy, high-anxiety, not-raising-my-children-right, not-doing-anything-for-myself, poor, sad blue. I woke up today feeling even deeper in my pit of despair and, knowing I was heading to church, once again painted on my brave, I'm-alright face.
Jesus crafted a special message just for me today... and it was a whopper. There were several scriptures at hand; Galatians 5:16, Ezekial 36:26-27, 1 John 4:15. The message, however, was summed up and repeated several times, "We don't need to try harder, we need to remain in God." "When we stop trying and just focus on the Holy Spirit and invite Her in, we will produce fruit." The weight was lifted. (As I just typed, I accidentally wrote 'wait', but I think that fits as well!)
Do you know how hard I've been trying lately? I've been so busy with - well I don't need to reiterate the boring and long list. I've been busy with NOT focusing on God. Oh - I've prayed myself through it... but praying Band-aids, not God's will. Praying fix-its and not allowing His direction.
After the message, I closed my eyes as we sang and started to say, "Jesus, I'm begging you to just come and..." and He stopped me. He said, "Child... just ACCEPT my love. I've been sending it but you haven't been taking it in."
His words always stop me in my tracks but especially so today.
And just like that, I let down some defense and His love rushed in. I'm so excited to just stop TRYING and just give everything to Him and my daily, moment-by-moment decisions to the Holy Spirit.
Holy Spirit, Kum Ba Yah. Come by here. I ACCEPT.
As was prayed at the end of our service, "God, help us to truly take this message on into our lives and not just leave it here in the church." I don't want to create a Polyanna list of things I'm going to change and then keep it up for 2 days. That's my cycle and, Holy Spirit willing, I want to break it! But here's what I know that works for me:
- Daily, focused, meditative prayer
- Bible study
- Sleeping with my C-PAP
- Yoga
- Less pop and more water
NOTE: I did NOT add dieting. I will not add it. It's negative and will come in it's own time.
Most importantly - and here's the change - I want to stop trying so hard. Stop trying - and focus on allowing the Holy Spirit to move within me. As the message said, "People will wonder what new food you're eating." I already feel that change today and pray it sticks!!!
So back to Cate. What do I say when she asks me how my day went? I told her that I woke up sad, etc. Her little sweet voice said, "Why?" I told her I didn't know but I've been that way for a while. I knew we were going to church and had hoped for a message and got one! I told her that God told me to stop trying so hard and to let Him fix me.
Cate is special. I'm not sure exactly what skills she has - but I just know that she's more in-tune than other little people - and always has been.
Cate told me that God told her to tell me to open up and allow Him to move in. She said that if my heart was broken that I should put it back together - but only to allow Him to do that... because only He could.
She also said that she wants to be baptized but that she's worried about the wetness drying off after a while. I smiled and said, "I think I know what you mean. Are you worried that you won't feel as special as you do right now about God?" She nodded. She said she wants to be on the team, and knows God wants her to be, but is afraid it won't be special to be on the team later. What wisdom!
I told her that's why we go to church, VBS, and camp. I told her that this morning for me was another way of getting wet. She said, "You felt hard. You felt dry." Yep! No doubt about it. She said she was glad God told her to tell me He was taking care of me. "He's right here, Mom" and she touched her heart. Oh, praise the Lord how that child touches my heart.
The alarm clock is set for early morning yoga. I have some other ideas to focus on that were planted today on my journey. Writing thoughts down again was one of them. It's been a LONG time since I wrote about my journey. I wouldn't say I feel awash in the Holy Spirit - - but I'm definitely damp and focusing on wading in farther and farther.
Sunday, May 22, 2016
Sunday, May 11, 2014
"I'll Pray for You"
You've said it. You know you have.
Someone is having a bad day or posts something terrible on Facebook that they are experiencing. You respond with, "I'll pray for you." because clicking the Like button doesn't seem right.
I once saw a cartoon of a gal quickly saying, "Lord, please be with Meredith." Next screen, the gal walks towards Meredith and says, "I've been praying for you!"
Oh - I've never done THAT! Could we be any lower than to promise prayer that isn't delivered? Well.. sure we could! I think it's often 'the thought that counts! I also think, however, that we're better than that.
What does it mean to pray for someone? What should we say? What happens on God's side once we do?
I once used a metaphor of a giant rope or tornado (from this Kansas gal) of prayer that swirls around and gains strength. The more prayers that are added on behalf of a person or situation - even country - the more significant of message it is able to send to God. God hears all of our prayers, but I think numbers help.
"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according
to his will, he hears us." 1 John 5:14
I'm not over-confident about these things, but I feel God has led me to understand that praying for others gives strength and power to the situation as well. The tornado has an energy. Therefore, in an honest moment, I simply say, "Lord, I'm lifting up this person. Please take them into your care for your will." If I have specifics to add, I certainly do that -- even the little stuff like passing a test or buying a car. God wants us to be specific. I then imagine adding my energy to their tornado. I've even felt at times as I've I'm the one getting it going. For some friends, however, I know I'm just adding to the masses of prayers already lifted up... and that feels pretty great.
How it works from there? 'God only knows!' Does He consider our prayers in his decision-making? Has the path already been laid out and our prayers give the family the grace to survive the ordeal? I just don't know and can find some relief that I don't. I do know that I have prayed ardently, on my knees, for blessings and they have come. The wonder of God's grace is that my prayers were answered -- not in the way I thought they would be -- but always much, much better than I could have imagined.
And then it doesn't work as we expect. Make no mistake that those moments suck the breath right out of you. Understanding will not come... for now. I know who's holding on the tightest to me or my loved ones at that time. My prayer at that time is for the peace that passes understanding.
Lately I've been reading and considering "The Prayer of Jabez";
"Oh that you would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be
with me, and that You would keep evil from me, that I may not cause pain!" (1 Chronicles 4:9-10.)
No easy thing to ask for blessings for yourself and to enlarge your territory! My favorite line in the play "Lil' Abner" would remind me that "my horizons are wide enough!" And yet, isn't this God's plan? Doesn't He expect us to want more assignments as we get better at our job?
Stay with me here -- I'm getting to a point.
What if we combined the two? What power of grace would we be tapping into if we prayed genuinely for others with true grace and conviction while also praying the Prayer of Jabez for ourselves? God just whispered in my ear that we'd tap into "Just what I want you to." (I love it when He does this!) Dr. Wilkinson, the author of "The Prayer of Jabez; Breaking Through to the Blessed Life" reminds us again and again that there is a storehouse of grace just waiting to be broken into. We only need to ask.
Wait just a second. My parents taught me not to be greedy. How about you?
I think this 'asking' is on a different plane. It's an acknowledgement to God. It's a key to the door. It's telling Him, "I'm on your side and am wearing the jersey. I'd like to reap the benefits of being on the winning team." We are still asked to do more and more for his glory!! He must, however, equip us with the skills and, yes, perhaps even 'riches' in order to accomplish the task! Haven't you ever thought that you would be able to more mission work or give more to the poor and needy if only you had a bit more in your pocket-book at the end of the month? Perhaps I'm reaching here ... and, believe me, my pocket-book is pretty thin -- but I get the feeling that He's waiting to catch our attention. He's waiting for us to "get it". Hebrews 11:6 says, "And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."
Mind b l o w n.
Head back to Jabez. "Oh that you would bless me indeed." This from a guy who was a disappointment to his mother from the start. If Jabez knows to ask... why don't we?
Here's what I'm thinking. I'm going to make a list of my family, friends, co-workers, etc. For at least two weeks, if not much more, I'm going to text the next person on the list and let them know I'm praying for them. "No thanks required but if there's something special I can pray for you, just let me know." I'm also going to pray the Prayer of Jabez. I'm going to find that quiet place (usually in my car) and open my heart and mind to Jesus and PRAY. In Philip Yancey's book, "Prayer; Does It Make Any Difference?", he reminds us to keep it short and to the point. No need to flower it up. Just give it from the heart.
Let's see what happens.
Keep in mind, I'm not expecting anything tangible to show up at my door. I am hoping for understanding and insight. These are the gifts I long for and pray to be given. I'm certainly not testing God -- that's definitely NOT a good idea. I'm just trying to follow the advice that keeps landing in my lap. Prayer is the access to the source. It is the tool. Use it.
How about you? Feeling brave? Want to join me? Let me know if you do!
In the meantime... I'll be praying for you!
Someone is having a bad day or posts something terrible on Facebook that they are experiencing. You respond with, "I'll pray for you." because clicking the Like button doesn't seem right.
I once saw a cartoon of a gal quickly saying, "Lord, please be with Meredith." Next screen, the gal walks towards Meredith and says, "I've been praying for you!"
Oh - I've never done THAT! Could we be any lower than to promise prayer that isn't delivered? Well.. sure we could! I think it's often 'the thought that counts! I also think, however, that we're better than that.
What does it mean to pray for someone? What should we say? What happens on God's side once we do?
I once used a metaphor of a giant rope or tornado (from this Kansas gal) of prayer that swirls around and gains strength. The more prayers that are added on behalf of a person or situation - even country - the more significant of message it is able to send to God. God hears all of our prayers, but I think numbers help.
"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according
to his will, he hears us." 1 John 5:14
I'm not over-confident about these things, but I feel God has led me to understand that praying for others gives strength and power to the situation as well. The tornado has an energy. Therefore, in an honest moment, I simply say, "Lord, I'm lifting up this person. Please take them into your care for your will." If I have specifics to add, I certainly do that -- even the little stuff like passing a test or buying a car. God wants us to be specific. I then imagine adding my energy to their tornado. I've even felt at times as I've I'm the one getting it going. For some friends, however, I know I'm just adding to the masses of prayers already lifted up... and that feels pretty great.
How it works from there? 'God only knows!' Does He consider our prayers in his decision-making? Has the path already been laid out and our prayers give the family the grace to survive the ordeal? I just don't know and can find some relief that I don't. I do know that I have prayed ardently, on my knees, for blessings and they have come. The wonder of God's grace is that my prayers were answered -- not in the way I thought they would be -- but always much, much better than I could have imagined.
And then it doesn't work as we expect. Make no mistake that those moments suck the breath right out of you. Understanding will not come... for now. I know who's holding on the tightest to me or my loved ones at that time. My prayer at that time is for the peace that passes understanding.
Lately I've been reading and considering "The Prayer of Jabez";
"Oh that you would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be
with me, and that You would keep evil from me, that I may not cause pain!" (1 Chronicles 4:9-10.)
No easy thing to ask for blessings for yourself and to enlarge your territory! My favorite line in the play "Lil' Abner" would remind me that "my horizons are wide enough!" And yet, isn't this God's plan? Doesn't He expect us to want more assignments as we get better at our job?
Stay with me here -- I'm getting to a point.
What if we combined the two? What power of grace would we be tapping into if we prayed genuinely for others with true grace and conviction while also praying the Prayer of Jabez for ourselves? God just whispered in my ear that we'd tap into "Just what I want you to." (I love it when He does this!) Dr. Wilkinson, the author of "The Prayer of Jabez; Breaking Through to the Blessed Life" reminds us again and again that there is a storehouse of grace just waiting to be broken into. We only need to ask.
Wait just a second. My parents taught me not to be greedy. How about you?
I think this 'asking' is on a different plane. It's an acknowledgement to God. It's a key to the door. It's telling Him, "I'm on your side and am wearing the jersey. I'd like to reap the benefits of being on the winning team." We are still asked to do more and more for his glory!! He must, however, equip us with the skills and, yes, perhaps even 'riches' in order to accomplish the task! Haven't you ever thought that you would be able to more mission work or give more to the poor and needy if only you had a bit more in your pocket-book at the end of the month? Perhaps I'm reaching here ... and, believe me, my pocket-book is pretty thin -- but I get the feeling that He's waiting to catch our attention. He's waiting for us to "get it". Hebrews 11:6 says, "And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."
Mind b l o w n.
Head back to Jabez. "Oh that you would bless me indeed." This from a guy who was a disappointment to his mother from the start. If Jabez knows to ask... why don't we?
Here's what I'm thinking. I'm going to make a list of my family, friends, co-workers, etc. For at least two weeks, if not much more, I'm going to text the next person on the list and let them know I'm praying for them. "No thanks required but if there's something special I can pray for you, just let me know." I'm also going to pray the Prayer of Jabez. I'm going to find that quiet place (usually in my car) and open my heart and mind to Jesus and PRAY. In Philip Yancey's book, "Prayer; Does It Make Any Difference?", he reminds us to keep it short and to the point. No need to flower it up. Just give it from the heart.
Let's see what happens.
Keep in mind, I'm not expecting anything tangible to show up at my door. I am hoping for understanding and insight. These are the gifts I long for and pray to be given. I'm certainly not testing God -- that's definitely NOT a good idea. I'm just trying to follow the advice that keeps landing in my lap. Prayer is the access to the source. It is the tool. Use it.
How about you? Feeling brave? Want to join me? Let me know if you do!
In the meantime... I'll be praying for you!
Monday, April 28, 2014
You Can't Wipe Away the Sunshine
It's time.
It's time. It's time. It's time.
I've been on a writing hiatus. Jesus keeps hinting at me that it's time to get the keys to clackin'.
But you see... my mom died. My MOM died. And things will never be the same again. You can gain money you have lost, you can remarry, you can usually start over - different - but over; but you can't get another mom... especially one like mine, and this leaves me broken.
Is Jesus still across from me at our table? Oh yes! He's there.
I've got to tell you this one. The other day, I was driving and talking with our Savior. I was focused and really digging into some stuff with Him. I had a flash of "what if this really is my conscious talking?" Ugh! I CAN'T BELIEVE I still do this! I find myself asking (or some demon whispering), "What if I'm telling myself what I want to hear? If it's my voice, how do I know what I think are His responses aren't?" J u s t l i k e t h a t . . . the voice was gone... and so were my thoughts. I was focused on nothing. All I saw was light blue. (A bit nerve-wracking since I was driving.) It lasted for 30 seconds or so -- which can be quite a long time of nothingness. When I snapped out of it I heard, "It's me. I'm here."
Never were the words, "Be still and know I am God." so very, very true to me.
So how do we live this life of grief together? I've cried to Him, at Him, and with Him. I've prayed for those who have lost mothers and especially for those who don't know Jesus and think that death is final. I can't even begin to imagine loss without the comfort of my Lord.
Tonight I was at a wonderful meeting for Women of Worship (WOW). The message from our speaker was that no matter how many pieces you have shattered into, He will mend you back together. I feel the mending happening everyday. I've been through grief before and I know the feeling of looking behind me and discovering that I'm "so much better"... only to discover that I still had so far to go. I expected this feeling. I knew to stop and truly grieve. I knew to say NO to committees and commitments. I knew to cry in the open and let my daughters see it happen. Doesn't mean my heart was any less broken. I knew, however, what to look for and to let the wave crash and roll.
What I didn't know until now is how much He would hurt and grieve with me. This is the blessing of knowing our Lord. The closer He gets ... the closer He gets.
The tide of grief is beginning to ebb. I'm starting to feel... better. I will miss her every day. I will miss her intelligence and the look of delight she had EVERY time she saw me. I will miss her warmth -- the warmth that only a mother can give. I've been so very cold this year.
Jesus has been a guide of graciousness. I've learned a new view on compassion for others. I have reinforced the importance of turning to Him in time of need. We all talk about it, and my worse fears came true that only practice makes us more proficient at fully relying on Him. Jesus also reminded me again of the lesson of forgiveness. I was so hurt when friends didn't contact me after mom had died. I had to spend some serious time forgiving them. It is so true that there is an immediate release of pressure once you have forgiven. Forgiveness makes things ok - not great, but ok. You're able to let go of the anger.
I've also learned lessons of love from the One who is love. I have two favorite cousins in the world that came to be with me a total of three times during our weeks of losing my mother. I have no doubt - no doubt - He arranged their coming and going. I've learned that those who say they love you, like a group of Bible Study friends, will actually pick you up when you've fallen on your floor sobbing. I also know that true love never leaves you. It's like I tell my girls, "You can't wipe off mommy's kisses. It's like trying to wipe off the sunshine." I know now how true that is.
My words are meant to be a love letter to my Lord. This broken child is still here at His table, singing praises to the one who heals. Why don't I slam my fists down and scream a big 'ol, "Why me?" It's simple. His love and grace have been wrapped so tightly around me since her last breath that I can operate at 50%. There is only one set of footprints. He's praying for me. He's not letting me go. I think too many times I watch others running away from the love He gives.
He's got you too, by the way. Oh I pray you know that He's holding you. Are you running from Him or to Him?
My grief isn't over and in some ways I find an odd comfort that it never will be. I can start turning my eyes towards a warm glimmer on the horizon. I'm anxious to discover the new me I'll be. I'm anxious for the ideas He will send my way to write about. I'm ready to laugh really loudly again. But for now... instead of sitting at His table, I'm at His feet, and we remember... We remember her beautiful smile and the unique example of love she was. It's that love that I feel from them both now... and it's taking away the chill.
It's time. It's time. It's time.
I've been on a writing hiatus. Jesus keeps hinting at me that it's time to get the keys to clackin'.
But you see... my mom died. My MOM died. And things will never be the same again. You can gain money you have lost, you can remarry, you can usually start over - different - but over; but you can't get another mom... especially one like mine, and this leaves me broken.
Is Jesus still across from me at our table? Oh yes! He's there.
I've got to tell you this one. The other day, I was driving and talking with our Savior. I was focused and really digging into some stuff with Him. I had a flash of "what if this really is my conscious talking?" Ugh! I CAN'T BELIEVE I still do this! I find myself asking (or some demon whispering), "What if I'm telling myself what I want to hear? If it's my voice, how do I know what I think are His responses aren't?" J u s t l i k e t h a t . . . the voice was gone... and so were my thoughts. I was focused on nothing. All I saw was light blue. (A bit nerve-wracking since I was driving.) It lasted for 30 seconds or so -- which can be quite a long time of nothingness. When I snapped out of it I heard, "It's me. I'm here."
Never were the words, "Be still and know I am God." so very, very true to me.
So how do we live this life of grief together? I've cried to Him, at Him, and with Him. I've prayed for those who have lost mothers and especially for those who don't know Jesus and think that death is final. I can't even begin to imagine loss without the comfort of my Lord.
Tonight I was at a wonderful meeting for Women of Worship (WOW). The message from our speaker was that no matter how many pieces you have shattered into, He will mend you back together. I feel the mending happening everyday. I've been through grief before and I know the feeling of looking behind me and discovering that I'm "so much better"... only to discover that I still had so far to go. I expected this feeling. I knew to stop and truly grieve. I knew to say NO to committees and commitments. I knew to cry in the open and let my daughters see it happen. Doesn't mean my heart was any less broken. I knew, however, what to look for and to let the wave crash and roll.
What I didn't know until now is how much He would hurt and grieve with me. This is the blessing of knowing our Lord. The closer He gets ... the closer He gets.
The tide of grief is beginning to ebb. I'm starting to feel... better. I will miss her every day. I will miss her intelligence and the look of delight she had EVERY time she saw me. I will miss her warmth -- the warmth that only a mother can give. I've been so very cold this year.
Jesus has been a guide of graciousness. I've learned a new view on compassion for others. I have reinforced the importance of turning to Him in time of need. We all talk about it, and my worse fears came true that only practice makes us more proficient at fully relying on Him. Jesus also reminded me again of the lesson of forgiveness. I was so hurt when friends didn't contact me after mom had died. I had to spend some serious time forgiving them. It is so true that there is an immediate release of pressure once you have forgiven. Forgiveness makes things ok - not great, but ok. You're able to let go of the anger.
I've also learned lessons of love from the One who is love. I have two favorite cousins in the world that came to be with me a total of three times during our weeks of losing my mother. I have no doubt - no doubt - He arranged their coming and going. I've learned that those who say they love you, like a group of Bible Study friends, will actually pick you up when you've fallen on your floor sobbing. I also know that true love never leaves you. It's like I tell my girls, "You can't wipe off mommy's kisses. It's like trying to wipe off the sunshine." I know now how true that is.
My words are meant to be a love letter to my Lord. This broken child is still here at His table, singing praises to the one who heals. Why don't I slam my fists down and scream a big 'ol, "Why me?" It's simple. His love and grace have been wrapped so tightly around me since her last breath that I can operate at 50%. There is only one set of footprints. He's praying for me. He's not letting me go. I think too many times I watch others running away from the love He gives.
He's got you too, by the way. Oh I pray you know that He's holding you. Are you running from Him or to Him?
My grief isn't over and in some ways I find an odd comfort that it never will be. I can start turning my eyes towards a warm glimmer on the horizon. I'm anxious to discover the new me I'll be. I'm anxious for the ideas He will send my way to write about. I'm ready to laugh really loudly again. But for now... instead of sitting at His table, I'm at His feet, and we remember... We remember her beautiful smile and the unique example of love she was. It's that love that I feel from them both now... and it's taking away the chill.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
A Gift I Didn't Know I Needed
I've been wanting to write again for a while now. In fact... I've been wanting to do several things for a while. I want to do yoga. I want to study deeply about my religion. I want to exercise and change my eating habits. I want to give up my beloved Diet Dr. Pepper.
Ever feel this way? How can I get back on track? How can I even find the bloody track?
My Jesus, as always, has been listening. There's another "want". I want to get into our deep conversations again. I'm still talking to Him - - but I haven't been making the time to listen. I haven't gone into that inner place in the soul where He sits, in His wooden chair, in a garden, drinking the coffee I've placed in front of Him.
As I was saying... He was listening to me. (I swear He has the patience of a saint. Pun intended.) And so He sent me Sonya Rae... a gift I didn't know I needed.
Let's set the stage three weeks ago. While on vacation my back started hurting again. It's a combination of super tight muscles, a few lovely spasms, bent over walking, out of alignment spine, and a general feeling of crapiness. I can't clean, I can't play, I can't relax. It's really quite lovely.
After a week of trying to "heal thyself", I went to the chiropractor a couple of times. That was ok. He did some good, but I was still in pain.
This week I'm out of town at a business meeting. Four and a half LOVELY days to rest, have someone make my bed, watch stupid tv, oh yea, and learn a few things. I decided to try and find a masseuse while in town. Something about her link on Google just jumped out at me and that's how I found my Yoda... Sonya Rae.
I spent a little over an hour with a 5'2", 120 pound, maybe 60 year old gal. I hate guessing at her age for fear of insulting her, but I'm used to masseuses that are in their 20s. Sonya Rae had a bit more experience. What I learned in that hour, what I felt, what she made me believe about myself, puts her age at around 150. W I S D O M is a wonderful thing.
Here are some of the gems I picked up. The words are as close as I can remember.
* We don't use the "d-i-e-t" word. We must first learn to truly love ourselves before we can start to change ourselves. I had to look in the mirror every day and tell myself that I was loved and truly valued. It wasn't until I believed it that I didn't want to put junk in my body anymore. And then it was so easy to do. Don't get me wrong... I still eat a 1/2 a box of ice cream every now and then. I'm human. But I don't have to. I'm worth more than that.
* Don't drink anything while you eat. And don't drink until 30 minutes after your meal. It messes up the enzymes. (Or something like that. I didn't have a notepad!)
* Don't eat fruit while you eat or until 30 minutes after.
* Your blood type affects what you should eat. I'm an "O". I should eat lean meat. No bread. No white potatoes - but sweet potatoes, yes! "O"s were the hunters. Type A are the gatherers. They should eat vegetables.
* When you get into your car, sit on your bottom first and swing your legs around. Then do the opposite when you get out. C'mon... let's go to your car and I'll show you. (And she did.)
* The best thing you can pass along to your girls is the ability to love yourself. You're giving them more than you realize.
* I didn't start following my passions until later in life. I was waiting on a son to get a degree and learn something. What I really wanted was for me to do that. And so I did!
* Don't get me started on diet pop.
* It's excellent that you have passions you want to pursue. What is stopping you?
* When you're doing downward-dog, make sure your head is between your arms. You're tall. You need to stretch out more.
* You need to make time for yourself. Every day. If someone knocks on the door, don't answer it. They'll come back. If someone calls, let them leave a message. If they don't, it wasn't that important. As women, we tend to care for our children first and ourselves last -- or never. When really, it should be the opposite! I learned that late in life. Understand that now.
* I walk a mile everyday. I don't plan for it. I do it. My husband walks around the streets. I like to go to Genesis and walk on the treadmill. I don't want to be far away when my mile is up.
* Water is so good for you. I used to think that if I drank too much water that I would weigh more. It's exactly the opposite. I see that you know that. If we know these things, why aren't we practicing them every day? Do I want to put processed foods in my body? I do not! I eat things my body needs. I drink things my body needs. I do things it needs. I take care of my body so that it will take care of me.
* I just got back from a trip to New York with a friend. I travel all of the time. But this friend made my traveling experience, well, difficult. I was scheduled to go on a cruise with her. When I got back, I decided to check myself. Was it best for me to go on that trip with her? No. It was not. So I cancelled it.
* In the words of Eckhart Tolle, 'if something difficult happens, I embrace it, I deal with it, I move on. There is no stress in my life.' This is a simple idea. I know there is a higher power that I know I can trust. I have to learn to trust myself.
:)
Was there more that she said? Oh sure. We talked extensively about yoga and she told me about her training. She taught me about reflexology. I taught her about the brain's reaction to changing behaviors. Seriously - - I looked at the clock when I left. I arrived at 5:10 and left at 6:15 with two hugs, a demonstration of the appropriate techniques for downward-dog and mountain, and a personal tutorial of how to get in and out of my van; not to mention a reflexology treatment on my feet and a back massage. Did all of this really happen in such a short time?
I feel ... well, loved. Loved by my new friend. But also, as always, loved so very deeply by my Savior and ultimate yogi, Jesus. He knew I needed to experience Sonya Rae. And experience... I did. I soaked up every moment and hope to never forget how I feel this night; wrapped in love and light. I feel like I can embrace her messages and move forward. As I still smell the lavender oil on my hands, I know this gift was given to me and I am so grateful.
It's time to follow Sonya Rae's advice, friends. It's time to look in the mirror and start to love ourselves just an inkling as much as our Lord does. What if? Just for a moment, what power would we have for good if we loved ourselves? Would we be able to see problems as Eckhart Tolle does? Would we gather the strength needed to love God's children? Would wisdom come to us so we might be brave enough to share with others?
That's a gift worth opening.
Ever feel this way? How can I get back on track? How can I even find the bloody track?
My Jesus, as always, has been listening. There's another "want". I want to get into our deep conversations again. I'm still talking to Him - - but I haven't been making the time to listen. I haven't gone into that inner place in the soul where He sits, in His wooden chair, in a garden, drinking the coffee I've placed in front of Him.
As I was saying... He was listening to me. (I swear He has the patience of a saint. Pun intended.) And so He sent me Sonya Rae... a gift I didn't know I needed.
Let's set the stage three weeks ago. While on vacation my back started hurting again. It's a combination of super tight muscles, a few lovely spasms, bent over walking, out of alignment spine, and a general feeling of crapiness. I can't clean, I can't play, I can't relax. It's really quite lovely.
After a week of trying to "heal thyself", I went to the chiropractor a couple of times. That was ok. He did some good, but I was still in pain.
This week I'm out of town at a business meeting. Four and a half LOVELY days to rest, have someone make my bed, watch stupid tv, oh yea, and learn a few things. I decided to try and find a masseuse while in town. Something about her link on Google just jumped out at me and that's how I found my Yoda... Sonya Rae.
I spent a little over an hour with a 5'2", 120 pound, maybe 60 year old gal. I hate guessing at her age for fear of insulting her, but I'm used to masseuses that are in their 20s. Sonya Rae had a bit more experience. What I learned in that hour, what I felt, what she made me believe about myself, puts her age at around 150. W I S D O M is a wonderful thing.
Here are some of the gems I picked up. The words are as close as I can remember.
* We don't use the "d-i-e-t" word. We must first learn to truly love ourselves before we can start to change ourselves. I had to look in the mirror every day and tell myself that I was loved and truly valued. It wasn't until I believed it that I didn't want to put junk in my body anymore. And then it was so easy to do. Don't get me wrong... I still eat a 1/2 a box of ice cream every now and then. I'm human. But I don't have to. I'm worth more than that.
* Don't drink anything while you eat. And don't drink until 30 minutes after your meal. It messes up the enzymes. (Or something like that. I didn't have a notepad!)
* Don't eat fruit while you eat or until 30 minutes after.
* Your blood type affects what you should eat. I'm an "O". I should eat lean meat. No bread. No white potatoes - but sweet potatoes, yes! "O"s were the hunters. Type A are the gatherers. They should eat vegetables.
* When you get into your car, sit on your bottom first and swing your legs around. Then do the opposite when you get out. C'mon... let's go to your car and I'll show you. (And she did.)
* The best thing you can pass along to your girls is the ability to love yourself. You're giving them more than you realize.
* I didn't start following my passions until later in life. I was waiting on a son to get a degree and learn something. What I really wanted was for me to do that. And so I did!
* Don't get me started on diet pop.
* It's excellent that you have passions you want to pursue. What is stopping you?
* When you're doing downward-dog, make sure your head is between your arms. You're tall. You need to stretch out more.
* You need to make time for yourself. Every day. If someone knocks on the door, don't answer it. They'll come back. If someone calls, let them leave a message. If they don't, it wasn't that important. As women, we tend to care for our children first and ourselves last -- or never. When really, it should be the opposite! I learned that late in life. Understand that now.
* I walk a mile everyday. I don't plan for it. I do it. My husband walks around the streets. I like to go to Genesis and walk on the treadmill. I don't want to be far away when my mile is up.
* Water is so good for you. I used to think that if I drank too much water that I would weigh more. It's exactly the opposite. I see that you know that. If we know these things, why aren't we practicing them every day? Do I want to put processed foods in my body? I do not! I eat things my body needs. I drink things my body needs. I do things it needs. I take care of my body so that it will take care of me.
* I just got back from a trip to New York with a friend. I travel all of the time. But this friend made my traveling experience, well, difficult. I was scheduled to go on a cruise with her. When I got back, I decided to check myself. Was it best for me to go on that trip with her? No. It was not. So I cancelled it.
* In the words of Eckhart Tolle, 'if something difficult happens, I embrace it, I deal with it, I move on. There is no stress in my life.' This is a simple idea. I know there is a higher power that I know I can trust. I have to learn to trust myself.
:)
Was there more that she said? Oh sure. We talked extensively about yoga and she told me about her training. She taught me about reflexology. I taught her about the brain's reaction to changing behaviors. Seriously - - I looked at the clock when I left. I arrived at 5:10 and left at 6:15 with two hugs, a demonstration of the appropriate techniques for downward-dog and mountain, and a personal tutorial of how to get in and out of my van; not to mention a reflexology treatment on my feet and a back massage. Did all of this really happen in such a short time?
I feel ... well, loved. Loved by my new friend. But also, as always, loved so very deeply by my Savior and ultimate yogi, Jesus. He knew I needed to experience Sonya Rae. And experience... I did. I soaked up every moment and hope to never forget how I feel this night; wrapped in love and light. I feel like I can embrace her messages and move forward. As I still smell the lavender oil on my hands, I know this gift was given to me and I am so grateful.
It's time to follow Sonya Rae's advice, friends. It's time to look in the mirror and start to love ourselves just an inkling as much as our Lord does. What if? Just for a moment, what power would we have for good if we loved ourselves? Would we be able to see problems as Eckhart Tolle does? Would we gather the strength needed to love God's children? Would wisdom come to us so we might be brave enough to share with others?
That's a gift worth opening.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
There's Always Room for One More Shepherd
Merry Christmas, Friends!
Thousands upon thousands of churches are preparing to host their Christmas plays this weekend. I love thinking about that. How many of our children are dressing up like sheep, angels and stars for the very first time? Stressed out Moms and Dads are helping them to know where to stand and what to do. Everyone is prompted to sing "Away in the Manger" on cue. Someone has given the shepherds their staffs and they're having an on-stage Star Wars worthy battle. It's mayhem... lovely, spirit-filled, twinkling lights, cookies after the play mayhem. Christmas is here.
My favorites are those little shepherds bowing down before angels and peeking at the newborn Christ. Someone has fashioned a towel on their head and made them wear a scratchy beard. They're dressed and ready to perform. A new kid shows up that you weren't expecting? That's ok. Slap a brown dress on them and put them in the group with the others. There's always room for one more shepherd.
I've been thinking about the shepherds this year. In my Bible study, we challenged each other to follow our "star" during this Christmas season. My star is the truth to the Christmas Story and I'm trying to put my feet into the dusty sandals of those who were there. What was it like? What were the sounds and smells? What was their experience?
Come with me to the hills of Bethlehem. It's a dark night; kind of quiet. Sheep are grazing and your buddies are nodding off. Who are you there to watch? Stinky sheep?? Actually, I've learned that most likely the sheep that were in the fields would eventually serve as sacrificial lambs for the Jewish community. How did you have your sins forgiven before our Christ was born? You came before your tribe, admitted your sins and made your offering -- a sheep to be sacrificed on the altar. Interesting, huh?
The stars are particularly bright on this evening. You hear a rumble, feel an odd presence, and BAM!!! The skies OPEN up and there are strange, magnificent, beautiful, glowing beings in the sky!
Thousands upon thousands of churches are preparing to host their Christmas plays this weekend. I love thinking about that. How many of our children are dressing up like sheep, angels and stars for the very first time? Stressed out Moms and Dads are helping them to know where to stand and what to do. Everyone is prompted to sing "Away in the Manger" on cue. Someone has given the shepherds their staffs and they're having an on-stage Star Wars worthy battle. It's mayhem... lovely, spirit-filled, twinkling lights, cookies after the play mayhem. Christmas is here.
My favorites are those little shepherds bowing down before angels and peeking at the newborn Christ. Someone has fashioned a towel on their head and made them wear a scratchy beard. They're dressed and ready to perform. A new kid shows up that you weren't expecting? That's ok. Slap a brown dress on them and put them in the group with the others. There's always room for one more shepherd.
I've been thinking about the shepherds this year. In my Bible study, we challenged each other to follow our "star" during this Christmas season. My star is the truth to the Christmas Story and I'm trying to put my feet into the dusty sandals of those who were there. What was it like? What were the sounds and smells? What was their experience?
Come with me to the hills of Bethlehem. It's a dark night; kind of quiet. Sheep are grazing and your buddies are nodding off. Who are you there to watch? Stinky sheep?? Actually, I've learned that most likely the sheep that were in the fields would eventually serve as sacrificial lambs for the Jewish community. How did you have your sins forgiven before our Christ was born? You came before your tribe, admitted your sins and made your offering -- a sheep to be sacrificed on the altar. Interesting, huh?
The stars are particularly bright on this evening. You hear a rumble, feel an odd presence, and BAM!!! The skies OPEN up and there are strange, magnificent, beautiful, glowing beings in the sky!
10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. 12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”
13 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests." (Luke 2:10-14)
So what did my brave boys do? They ran straight to a cave where a new mother sang to her baby. They fell to their knees and simply stared at the beautiful child. Did they ask questions? Did they introduce themselves? It must not matter. They were there to witness. They -- the shepherds, the low-level employees of ill-reput. Angels did not ask the lawyers to go. The doctors and fishermen were left at home. God wanted His symbolic shepherds there, true men of good character if not meager backgrounds. He wanted those that could be believed.
Later, they ran through the streets of Bethlehem and spread the news! Folks must have thought they'd lost their minds! We don't know what happened as a result of their whoopin' and hollerin' -- but I doubt seriously that is the point. To me, these shepherds knew there was a new sheep in town. They couldn't contain their joy nor their secret. They would have been lifelong citizens of the City of David and so they knew that this was the town that was to expect the Messiah (Micah 5:2). They were the messengers to start telling their friends and families that the time had come! Had the Savior ridden into town in a parade? Did the watchmen see him coming as they expected? We should start getting the point that our Creator never does the expected. He hid his son in the womb of another. He promised that Bethlehem would be the place -- but He didn't promise how. Oh how I love my God's style.
And make sure you get the ultimate point. Who were the shepherds watching now? They were able to see The Lamb of God... the small baby that would be the ultimate sacrifice for all of our sins.
We are still to be shepherds. We are to wait and watch for His second coming. Guess what? I doubt we'll see Him walking down the street in a parade. (I'm afraid too many are wasting time in their watchtowers.) We'll know and we'll believe. But until that time, we are also to watch after God's sheep. We are to run through the town and spread the Good News! We are called, during this blessed time of the year, to come and witness the miracle of the birth of our Christ. We are to open our eyes and see the newborn babe and know He is the Lamb. But most importantly, we are to feel blessed that God the Father has chosen us, His lowly servants, to be the first witnesses. Don't let that go by un-noticed. You have been chosen. You -- the believer of good character if not of meager background.
This child was born for you, shepherd. Now... Go Tell it on the Mountain! It doesn't matter how you dress, what you do for a living, single or married, thin or not... just bow down and accept His loving gift... the gift of grace.
Take a moment to bow down at the feet of our loving and brave Mary. Squeeze in to catch a glimpse of the peaceful child. Smile up at courageous and star-struck Joseph. Make room in that small place for yourself. There's always room for one more shepherd.
So what did my brave boys do? They ran straight to a cave where a new mother sang to her baby. They fell to their knees and simply stared at the beautiful child. Did they ask questions? Did they introduce themselves? It must not matter. They were there to witness. They -- the shepherds, the low-level employees of ill-reput. Angels did not ask the lawyers to go. The doctors and fishermen were left at home. God wanted His symbolic shepherds there, true men of good character if not meager backgrounds. He wanted those that could be believed.
Later, they ran through the streets of Bethlehem and spread the news! Folks must have thought they'd lost their minds! We don't know what happened as a result of their whoopin' and hollerin' -- but I doubt seriously that is the point. To me, these shepherds knew there was a new sheep in town. They couldn't contain their joy nor their secret. They would have been lifelong citizens of the City of David and so they knew that this was the town that was to expect the Messiah (Micah 5:2). They were the messengers to start telling their friends and families that the time had come! Had the Savior ridden into town in a parade? Did the watchmen see him coming as they expected? We should start getting the point that our Creator never does the expected. He hid his son in the womb of another. He promised that Bethlehem would be the place -- but He didn't promise how. Oh how I love my God's style.
And make sure you get the ultimate point. Who were the shepherds watching now? They were able to see The Lamb of God... the small baby that would be the ultimate sacrifice for all of our sins.
We are still to be shepherds. We are to wait and watch for His second coming. Guess what? I doubt we'll see Him walking down the street in a parade. (I'm afraid too many are wasting time in their watchtowers.) We'll know and we'll believe. But until that time, we are also to watch after God's sheep. We are to run through the town and spread the Good News! We are called, during this blessed time of the year, to come and witness the miracle of the birth of our Christ. We are to open our eyes and see the newborn babe and know He is the Lamb. But most importantly, we are to feel blessed that God the Father has chosen us, His lowly servants, to be the first witnesses. Don't let that go by un-noticed. You have been chosen. You -- the believer of good character if not of meager background.
This child was born for you, shepherd. Now... Go Tell it on the Mountain! It doesn't matter how you dress, what you do for a living, single or married, thin or not... just bow down and accept His loving gift... the gift of grace.
Take a moment to bow down at the feet of our loving and brave Mary. Squeeze in to catch a glimpse of the peaceful child. Smile up at courageous and star-struck Joseph. Make room in that small place for yourself. There's always room for one more shepherd.
Sunday, October 28, 2012
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Lori
Jesus - A Man to Know
My friend is going through unimaginable
pain and suffering. In just a few years, her dad has passed away, her
mother-in-law passed away, her husband has been ill and struggling with his
career, and her teenage child has cancer for the second time and awaits a
transplant. But get this; a beautiful picture of Jesus is her screensaver. She
knows to hold on tight to this man. He is our life-line and our redeemer and if
you want to have any chance at all in growing your Faith, you must go through
Jesus.
Jesus
answered, “I am the way
and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. (John
14:6)
“Jesus loves me, this I know.” “Oh, how He loves you and me.” “Jesus loves the little children.” We sing
these songs as children, but were you listening? Do you still believe in their
message? Jesus loves my friend so much that He hurts with her. She knows He has
a plan for her and her family. She's remembering that Jesus loves her. When the
tough times get tough for any of us, He picks us up and holds on tight. Jesus'
love for God's children is so very personal. The poem, “Footprints”, by Mary
Stevenson is such a perfect image for Jesus’ love for His children. When the road gets rocky, He carries
us.
Don’t think of Jesus as just an old softy. He also is the great I
Am. He is The One and Only. He is Lord! Oh – I could really get ramped up here. As I explained earlier, I
beg you to get to know my Jesus. He is God’s #1 and Child, yet He is one of us. He chose to live as a
human to experience our needs and our wants – but also our pain and our joy.
Check out the story of when his best
friend dies in John 11 to understand Jesus' experience as one of us. When He
learns of Lazarus' death, “Jesus wept.” (John 11:35) But then, just like my hero, He woke his bestie
up from his death and asked for him to come on out of that tomb. He can perform
the strongest of miracles. On the human note, interestingly enough, Jesus
waited two days before he came to the aid of Lazarus and his sisters. Let me
tell you, Mary and Martha were none too happy that He decided to take His sweet
time getting to them. Friends, Jesus timing is perfect and this can be such a
tough lesson for any of us to learn. Read the story. He knew Lazarus would
survive and even though He knew this would cause pain to His friends and to
Himself to wait, it had to happen this way. It was this miracle performed that
started throwing things into motion that led to Jesus’ crucifixion.
I have a very strong feeling that Jesus wanted to take off first thing to run
to Lazarus’ side, but He
knew what had to happen and how. Jesus and God are one and He can see the big
picture.
John 15:1 reminds us that Jesus is the
vine and we are His branches. We are Jesus’ gifts and talents. When we succeed and grow closer to God,
God is pleased with Jesus. The One and Only wants us to grow and flourish. He
longs for God's plan to work, but being God, the plan is so intricate, we can’t understand
it. Don’t let your
mind circle too much with this issue of God being Jesus and vice versa. It’s one of
those mysteries I think they’re saving for the end. Just focus on relying on Jesus as well
as loving Him.
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