You Can't Wipe Away the Sunshine

It's time.
It's time. It's time. It's time.

I've been on a writing hiatus. Jesus keeps hinting at me that it's time to get the keys to clackin'.

But you see... my mom died. My MOM died. And things will never be the same again. You can gain money you have lost, you can remarry, you can usually start over - different - but over; but you can't get another mom... especially one like mine, and this leaves me broken.

Is Jesus still across from me at our table? Oh yes! He's there.

I've got to tell you this one. The other day, I was driving and talking with our Savior. I was focused and really digging into some stuff with Him. I had a flash of "what if this really is my conscious talking?" Ugh! I CAN'T BELIEVE I still do this! I find myself asking (or some demon whispering), "What if I'm telling myself what I want to hear? If it's my voice, how do I know what I think are His responses aren't?" J u s t  l i k e  t h a t . . . the voice was gone... and so were my thoughts. I was focused on nothing. All I saw was light blue. (A bit nerve-wracking since I was driving.) It lasted for 30 seconds or so -- which can be quite a long time of nothingness. When I snapped out of it I heard, "It's me. I'm here."

Never were the words, "Be still and know I am God." so very, very true to me.

So how do we live this life of grief together? I've cried to Him, at Him, and with Him. I've prayed for those who have lost mothers and especially for those who don't know Jesus and think that death is final. I can't even begin to imagine loss without the comfort of my Lord.

Tonight I was at a wonderful meeting for Women of Worship (WOW). The message from our speaker was that no matter how many pieces you have shattered into, He will mend you back together. I feel the mending happening everyday. I've been through grief before and I know the feeling of looking behind me and discovering that I'm "so much better"... only to discover that I still had so far to go. I expected this feeling. I knew to stop and truly grieve. I knew to say NO to committees and commitments. I knew to cry in the open and let my daughters see it happen. Doesn't mean my heart was any less broken. I knew, however, what to look for and to let the wave crash and roll.

What I didn't know until now is how much He would hurt and grieve with me. This is the blessing of knowing our Lord. The closer He gets ... the closer He gets.

The tide of grief is beginning to ebb. I'm starting to feel... better. I will miss her every day. I will miss her intelligence and the look of delight she had EVERY time she saw me. I will miss her warmth -- the warmth that only a mother can give. I've been so very cold this year.

Jesus has been a guide of graciousness. I've learned a new view on compassion for others. I have reinforced the importance of turning to Him in time of need. We all talk about it, and my worse fears came true that only practice makes us more proficient at fully relying on Him. Jesus also reminded me again of the lesson of forgiveness. I was so hurt when friends didn't contact me after mom had died. I had to spend some serious time forgiving them. It is so true that there is an immediate release of pressure once you have forgiven. Forgiveness makes things ok - not great, but ok. You're able to let go of the anger.

I've also learned lessons of love from the One who is love. I have two favorite cousins in the world that came to be with me a total of three times during our weeks of losing my mother. I have no doubt - no doubt - He arranged their coming and going. I've learned that those who say they love you, like a group of Bible Study friends, will actually pick you up when you've fallen on your floor sobbing. I also know that true love never leaves you. It's like I tell my girls, "You can't wipe off mommy's kisses. It's like trying to wipe off the sunshine." I know now how true that is.

My words are meant to be a love letter to my Lord. This broken child is still here at His table, singing praises to the one who heals. Why don't I slam my fists down and scream a big 'ol, "Why me?" It's simple. His love and grace have been wrapped so tightly around me since her last breath that I can operate at 50%. There is only one set of footprints. He's praying for me. He's not letting me go. I think too many times I watch others running away from the love He gives.

He's got you too, by the way. Oh I pray you know that He's holding you. Are you running from Him or to Him?

My grief isn't over and in some ways I find an odd comfort that it never will be. I can start turning my eyes towards a warm glimmer on the horizon. I'm anxious to discover the new me I'll be. I'm anxious for the ideas He will send my way to write about. I'm ready to laugh really loudly again. But for now... instead of sitting at His table, I'm at His feet, and we remember... We remember her beautiful smile and the unique example of love she was. It's that love that I feel from them both now... and it's taking away the chill.

A Gift I Didn't Know I Needed

I've been wanting to write again for a while now. In fact... I've been wanting to do several things for a while. I want to do yoga. I want to study deeply about my religion. I want to exercise and change my eating habits. I want to give up my beloved Diet Dr. Pepper.

Ever feel this way? How can I get back on track? How can I even find the bloody track?

My Jesus, as always, has been listening. There's another "want". I want to get into our deep conversations again. I'm still talking to Him - - but I haven't been making the time to listen. I haven't gone into that inner place in the soul where He sits, in His wooden chair, in a garden, drinking the coffee I've placed in front of Him.

As I was saying... He was listening to me. (I swear He has the patience of a saint. Pun intended.) And so He sent me Sonya Rae... a gift I didn't know I needed.

Let's set the stage three weeks ago. While on vacation my back started hurting again. It's a combination of super tight muscles, a few lovely spasms, bent over walking, out of alignment spine, and a general feeling of crapiness. I can't clean, I can't play, I can't relax. It's really quite lovely.

After a week of trying to "heal thyself", I went to the chiropractor a couple of times. That was ok. He did some good, but I was still in pain.

This week I'm out of town at a business meeting. Four and a half LOVELY days to rest, have someone make my bed, watch stupid tv, oh yea, and learn a few things. I decided to try and find a masseuse while in town. Something about her link on Google just jumped out at me and that's how I found my Yoda... Sonya Rae.

I spent a little over an hour with a 5'2", 120 pound, maybe 60 year old gal. I hate guessing at her age for fear of insulting her, but I'm used to masseuses that are in their 20s. Sonya Rae had a bit more experience. What I learned in that hour, what I felt, what she made me believe about myself, puts her age at around 150. W I S D O M is a wonderful thing.

Here are some of the gems I picked up. The words are as close as I can remember.

* We don't use the "d-i-e-t" word. We must first learn to truly love ourselves before we can start to change ourselves. I had to look in the mirror every day and tell myself that I was loved and truly valued. It wasn't until I believed it that I didn't want to put junk in my body anymore. And then it was so easy to do. Don't get me wrong... I still eat a 1/2 a box of ice cream every now and then. I'm human. But I don't have to. I'm worth more than that.

* Don't drink anything while you eat. And don't drink until 30 minutes after your meal. It messes up the enzymes. (Or something like that. I didn't have a notepad!)

* Don't eat fruit while you eat or until 30 minutes after.

* Your blood type affects what you should eat. I'm an "O". I should eat lean meat. No bread. No white potatoes - but sweet potatoes, yes! "O"s were the hunters. Type A are the gatherers. They should eat vegetables.

* When you get into your car, sit on your bottom first and swing your legs around. Then do the opposite when you get out. C'mon... let's go to your car and I'll show you. (And she did.)

* The best thing you can pass along to your girls is the ability to love yourself. You're giving them more than you realize.

* I didn't start following my passions until later in life. I was waiting on a son to get a degree and learn something. What I really wanted was for me to do that. And so I did!

* Don't get me started on diet pop.

* It's excellent that you have passions you want to pursue. What is stopping you?

* When you're doing downward-dog, make sure your head is between your arms. You're tall. You need to stretch out more.

* You need to make time for yourself. Every day. If someone knocks on the door, don't answer it. They'll come back. If someone calls, let them leave a message. If they don't, it wasn't that important. As women, we tend to care for our children first and ourselves last -- or never. When really, it should be the opposite! I learned that late in life. Understand that now.

* I walk a mile everyday. I don't plan for it. I do it. My husband walks around the streets. I like to go to Genesis and walk on the treadmill. I don't want to be far away when my mile is up.

* Water is so good for you. I used to think that if I drank too much water that I would weigh more. It's exactly the opposite. I see that you know that. If we know these things, why aren't we practicing them every day? Do I want to put processed foods in my body? I do not! I eat things my body needs. I drink things my body needs. I do things it needs. I take care of my body so that it will take care of me.

* I just got back from a trip to New York with a friend. I travel all of the time. But this friend made my traveling experience, well, difficult. I was scheduled to go on a cruise with her. When I got back, I decided to check myself. Was it best for me to go on that trip with her? No. It was not. So I cancelled it.

* In the words of Eckhart Tolle, 'if something difficult happens, I embrace it, I deal with it, I move on. There is no stress in my life.' This is a simple idea. I know there is a higher power that I know I can trust. I have to learn to trust myself.

:)

Was there more that she said? Oh sure. We talked extensively about yoga and she told me about her training. She taught me about reflexology. I taught her about the brain's reaction to changing behaviors. Seriously - - I looked at the clock when I left. I arrived at 5:10 and left at 6:15 with two hugs, a demonstration of the appropriate techniques for downward-dog and mountain, and a personal tutorial of how to get in and out of my van; not to mention a reflexology treatment on my feet and a back massage. Did all of this really happen in such a short time?

I feel ... well, loved. Loved by my new friend. But also, as always, loved so very deeply by my Savior and ultimate yogi, Jesus. He knew I needed to experience Sonya Rae. And experience... I did. I soaked up every moment and hope to never forget how I feel this night; wrapped in love and light. I feel like I can embrace her messages and move forward. As I still smell the lavender oil on my hands, I know this gift was given to me and I am so grateful.

It's time to follow Sonya Rae's advice, friends. It's time to look in the mirror and start to love ourselves just an inkling as much as our Lord does. What if? Just for a moment, what power would we have for good if we loved ourselves? Would we be able to see problems as Eckhart Tolle does? Would we gather the strength needed to love God's children? Would wisdom come to us so we might be brave enough to share with others?

That's a gift worth opening.

There's Always Room for One More Shepherd

Merry Christmas, Friends!

Thousands upon thousands of churches are preparing to host their Christmas plays this weekend. I love thinking about that. How many of our children are dressing up like sheep, angels and stars for the very first time? Stressed out Moms and Dads are helping them to know where to stand and what to do. Everyone is prompted to sing "Away in the Manger" on cue. Someone has given the shepherds their staffs and they're having an on-stage Star Wars worthy battle. It's mayhem... lovely, spirit-filled, twinkling lights, cookies after the play mayhem. Christmas is here.

My favorites are those little shepherds bowing down before angels and peeking at the newborn Christ. Someone has fashioned a towel on their head and made them wear a scratchy beard. They're dressed and ready to perform. A new kid shows up that you weren't expecting? That's ok. Slap a brown dress on them and put them in the group with the others. There's always room for one more shepherd.

I've been thinking about the shepherds this year. In my Bible study, we challenged each other to follow our "star" during this Christmas season. My star is the truth to the Christmas Story and I'm trying to put my feet into the dusty sandals of those who were there. What was it like? What were the sounds and smells? What was their experience?

Come with me to the hills of Bethlehem. It's a dark night; kind of quiet. Sheep are grazing and your buddies are nodding off. Who are you there to watch? Stinky sheep?? Actually, I've learned that most likely the sheep that were in the fields would eventually serve as sacrificial lambs for the Jewish community. How did you have your sins forgiven before our Christ was born? You came before your tribe, admitted your sins and made your offering -- a sheep to be sacrificed on the altar. Interesting, huh?

The stars are particularly bright on this evening. You hear a rumble, feel an odd presence, and BAM!!! The skies OPEN up and there are strange, magnificent, beautiful, glowing beings in the sky!

¹⁰ But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. ¹¹ Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. ¹² This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

¹³ Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests." (Luke 2:10-14)

So what did my brave boys do? They ran straight to a cave where a new mother sang to her baby. They fell to their knees and simply stared at the beautiful child. Did they ask questions? Did they introduce themselves? It must not matter. They were there to witness. They -- the shepherds, the low-level employees of ill-reput. Angels did not ask the lawyers to go. The doctors and fishermen were left at home. God wanted His symbolic shepherds there, true men of good character if not meager backgrounds. He wanted those that could be believed.

Later, they ran through the streets of Bethlehem and spread the news! Folks must have thought they'd lost their minds! We don't know what happened as a result of their whoopin' and hollerin' -- but I doubt seriously that is the point. To me, these shepherds knew there was a new sheep in town. They couldn't contain their joy nor their secret. They would have been lifelong citizens of the City of David and so they knew that this was the town that was to expect the Messiah (Micah 5:2). They were the messengers to start telling their friends and families that the time had come! Had the Savior ridden into town in a parade? Did the watchmen see him coming as they expected? We should start getting the point that our Creator never does the expected. He hid his son in the womb of another. He promised that Bethlehem would be the place -- but He didn't promise how. Oh how I love my God's style.

And make sure you get the ultimate point. Who were the shepherds watching now? They were able to see The Lamb of God... the small baby that would be the ultimate sacrifice for all of our sins.

We are still to be shepherds. We are to wait and watch for His second coming. Guess what? I doubt we'll see Him walking down the street in a parade. (I'm afraid too many are wasting time in their watchtowers.) We'll know and we'll believe. But until that time, we are also to watch after God's sheep. We are to run through the town and spread the Good News! We are called, during this blessed time of the year, to come and witness the miracle of the birth of our Christ. We are to open our eyes and see the newborn babe and know He is the Lamb. But most importantly, we are to feel blessed that God the Father has chosen us, His lowly servants, to be the first witnesses. Don't let that go by un-noticed. You have been chosen. You -- the believer of good character if not of meager background.

This child was born for you, shepherd. Now... Go Tell it on the Mountain! It doesn't matter how you dress, what you do for a living, single or married, thin or not... just bow down and accept His loving gift... the gift of grace.

Take a moment to bow down at the feet of our loving and brave Mary. Squeeze in to catch a glimpse of the peaceful child. Smile up at courageous and star-struck Joseph. Make room in that small place for yourself. There's always room for one more shepherd.

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Lori

Jesus - A Man to Know

My friend is going through unimaginable pain and suffering. In just a few years, her dad has passed away, her mother-in-law passed away, her husband has been ill and struggling with his career, and her teenage child has cancer for the second time and awaits a transplant. But get this; a beautiful picture of Jesus is her screensaver. She knows to hold on tight to this man. He is our life-line and our redeemer and if you want to have any chance at all in growing your Faith, you must go through Jesus.

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. (John 14:6)

“Jesus loves me, this I know.” “Oh, how He loves you and me.” “Jesus loves the little children.” We sing these songs as children, but were you listening? Do you still believe in their message? Jesus loves my friend so much that He hurts with her. She knows He has a plan for her and her family. She's remembering that Jesus loves her. When the tough times get tough for any of us, He picks us up and holds on tight. Jesus' love for God's children is so very personal. The poem, “Footprints”, by Mary Stevenson is such a perfect image for Jesus’ love for His children. When the road gets rocky, He carries us.

Don’t think of Jesus as just an old softy. He also is the great I Am. He is The One and Only. He is Lord! Oh – I could really get ramped up here. As I explained earlier, I beg you to get to know my Jesus. He is God’s #1 and Child, yet He is one of us. He chose to live as a human to experience our needs and our wants – but also our pain and our joy.

Check out the story of when his best friend dies in John 11 to understand Jesus' experience as one of us. When He learns of Lazarus' death, “Jesus wept.” (John 11:35) But then, just like my hero, He woke his bestie up from his death and asked for him to come on out of that tomb. He can perform the strongest of miracles. On the human note, interestingly enough, Jesus waited two days before he came to the aid of Lazarus and his sisters. Let me tell you, Mary and Martha were none too happy that He decided to take His sweet time getting to them. Friends, Jesus timing is perfect and this can be such a tough lesson for any of us to learn. Read the story. He knew Lazarus would survive and even though He knew this would cause pain to His friends and to Himself to wait, it had to happen this way. It was this miracle performed that started throwing things into motion that led to Jesus’ crucifixion. I have a very strong feeling that Jesus wanted to take off first thing to run to Lazarus’ side, but He knew what had to happen and how. Jesus and God are one and He can see the big picture.

John 15:1 reminds us that Jesus is the vine and we are His branches. We are Jesus’ gifts and talents. When we succeed and grow closer to God, God is pleased with Jesus. The One and Only wants us to grow and flourish. He longs for God's plan to work, but being God, the plan is so intricate, we can’t understand it. Don’t let your mind circle too much with this issue of God being Jesus and vice versa. It’s one of those mysteries I think they’re saving for the end. Just focus on relying on Jesus as well as loving Him. 

Prayer - Part 1

Prayer is tough. It's hard to know if you're doing it right and even harder to know what to say. Are there rules? Do I have to pray right before I go to bed? "I'll never pray like her." Oh yea ... I've been there. So let's focus on the basics. Let's understand where to direct our prayer, what to say, who for and more. Let's also understand whether or not it works.

Prayer is a two-way street. If it's one-directional for you, then you've got to reach a little deeper. You can't just send up prayers, you need to be getting something back. God's presence is where? Within you. Right smack-dab in the middle of the core of your being. We must turn our ears in instead of up to hear His voice. It is when we reach a certain level of maturity that we can start to tune God in. I'm not saying there can't be that "burning bush" moment. God is all-powerful! His voice, however, is triggered to release by our ability to hear it. This ability is developed through meditation, prayer and conversation with God.

Actually, it is Jesus who does most of the talking to me. I feel it rather than hear it. It's an urging and it comes in bits and pieces. I've never had Jesus present a soliloquy to me, just little phrases or words. Folks, this is how it works for me. I want you to know what to listen for. I can imagine it might be different for everyone.

I had a friend think I could actually HEAR the voice. Nope - I just feel an internal word or phrase jump into the middle of my thinking. "Oh," she said, "I think that's happened to me." It's hard to trust that this is Jesus. You might think that you're just telling yourself something - that it's your conscience. Trust! You'll know when it's Jesus. Spirit helps you there. His words make me say, "Ah! Hadn't thought about that." They make sense. They turn your head to a new way of thinking or confirm you're on the right track. Trust Him and trust yourself that you know Him.

When you were a kid, do you remember trying to nudge the dial just right to get your favorite radio station? Maybe you had to stand on one foot with your tongue just right while holding on to the antennae. The concentration needed to hear Jesus is exactly like that. Keep nudging the dial. Concentrate harder. He's there.

What are we supposed to say? Two things to keep in mind here.

ONE: Be genuine.

The Lord's Prayer is a beautiful prayer and the perfect one to know. We were given The Lord's Prayer as a model, and what a wonderful teaching tool it is. As for the prayers and meditations that a group says together in a church, those have their purpose. Perhaps group sayings are a little stiff and boring, but they're still important. When you pray or repeat phrases together, it is the group practicing unity of focus and energy - and that's a good thing. It might not seem genuine prayer - but again, at that point it's about the group praying together and strength in numbers. Think of our strands of energy collecting together in one, strong group rope of praise and prayer. One voice; one thought. 

Jesus, as you might imagine, ultimately wants to hear what you have to say. He can't help solve your problems to help you grow stronger if He doesn't know how you really feel. Think of the child in the store that is just repeating "Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom." And she asserts, "What?!" Can you imagine Jesus getting a little frustrated with our child-like requests? "Jesus, help me. Jesus, help me. Jesus, I'm sorry. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus." Yes -- He already knows what we want and need, but hearing our prayers from our hearts is critical to our communication with Christ. He needs more than just His wonderful name. He needs to know what or who you're specifically praying for. How do you feel about it? What are you learning? Give it all to him; not just the Cliff Notes.

Don't forget to praise! How many mothers in history have just waited for the "Thanks, Mom" for the dinner, for doing the laundry, for bringing her blessed cherubs into this world? Just one little note of thanks goes a long way! Why do we think our Father is any different? We should praise more than we plead.

Gratitude will get you EVERYWHERE! I'm sure you've been challenged before, but I'll suggest an attitude of gratitude again. Write down five things you're truly grateful for every day. Not only is this just a good thing to do for your soul, it truly changes your point of view. I can find myself feeling and, unfortunately, acting like such a jerk some days. When living in a life of gratitude, I don't feel that way and my actions are much more positive. God wants us to be grateful for what we have -- and oh, we have so much!

            Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let

            them sing songs of praise. (James 5:13)

There are times when I'm praying to Jesus but actually whining would be a better verb to use. I'm trying to explain to Him my feelings and doubts, but when I listen to myself, I just sound so negative. I'm learning to stop the whining and start the praising. I just start unloading the many, many things I'm grateful for. A clearer connection comes through at that point and I'm able to refocus. We must be grateful!

Think of it this way. Gratitude clears a path to God. If we don't go to the Lord with thanks, our prayers become befuddled with whining, complaining, worry (which He said not to do), and negativity. Prayer, even when praying ardently for healing, should be a positive experience. Jesus wants to see into our hearts, but I've been sent the message loud and clear that it is gratitude that clears the airwaves. I've started my best to begin each day with my lists and lists of things I'm grateful for. In return, Jesus and I can tune into one another.

Perhaps the true reality is that it's the point of view we're taking towards this gift God has given us ... life. We're getting a chance to develop our Faith and do we want to do that on a positive note or a sour one? In working with schools, I've learned that teaching through positive behavior supports is so much better for learning and the environment than to yell at students and wait for them to make mistakes. Time to apply this theory to our lives. Train your soul to think in the positive instead of the negative. Listen to your internal voice. Are you more likely to see the dark or the light? We can change! But it takes practice. By starting each day with our lists of gratitude, we will get there.

Need some ideas on how to become more positive?

.   Start your gratitude journal ... right now!!

.   Begin your prayer time in thanks with the Lord instead of jumping immediately to your concerns.

.   Two great books come to mind; "Simple Abundance" by Sarah Ban Breathnach and "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp

.   Surround yourself with positive people, quotes, images, music, etc.

We should even be thankful for our challenges! My basketball coach used to tell us that we should be worried when he stops yelling at us. Why? Because he said that would be the point when he would have given up on us. Coach never stopped yelling I think I'm happy to say, but the same is true with God (although with much less yelling, I hope). When He stops teaching us lessons, does that mean we're now perfect? Hardly! He will stop teaching when He thinks we no longer have the desire to learn ... or when we're no longer worthy to teach. In Old Testament times, God would go silent. Can you imagine the dread you'd feel? Through the sacrifice of Jesus, He's promised not to do that again. He will never give up on us, but His lessons should not be taken for granted.

We must thank God for our lessons and for His attention and effort in helping us grow our Faith. In reflecting on my life, I'm amazed at what challenges God blessed me with. Might sound strange, but I'm in awe at the events He knew I could get through. It's like when the teacher gives just you an extra hard book to read. We're frightened but honored by the challenge. My mind just went to "Forrest Gump" and Lieutenant Dan screaming at the top of the mast, "Is that the best that you've got?!" I'm not suggesting we challenge God or hope for dramatic changes to our lives, but take a moment and see how He's been pushing you to grow. Those lessons are what makes you the person you are today.

When I was in college, I met a darling fella by the name of Michael. What a free spirit! We bonded immediately and even though we were nothing alike, we became the best of friends. Michael had been sick all of his life and struggled mightily with asthma. Just when I was starting my first year of teaching I got the call that Michael had died. My heart just ripped in two. I was far away from family and friends and they didn't even realize how important this man was to me. It was a difficult recovery, but a year later I remember thinking that when taken to the lowest level, I had the opportunity to put back into my life what I wanted. Essentially, I was starting the growth of my tree again. After college, I was as far away from God as I'd ever been. I can look back now and see that this loss started my road back. He never had left me, and feeling His presence again after years of nothing was such a startling joy and comfort. He cried so many nights with me, but I had to come back to Him and after some time I was ready to know Him again. Thank you God for my dear Michael and thank you for that most valuable journey.

I once read, "Want to hear God laugh? Tell him your plans." I think there's great truth there. A solution has already been mapped out for you and your prayers are strengthening you as well as helping the plan along. God is interested in us being a part of our plan and our prayers to Him help with that focus. When the going gets tough, however, we could not begin to craft a more perfect solution to our troubles than God already designed years ago. People have been placed in your path, books have been written, songs have been sung to help you with what you struggle with today. His plan is perfect! If you stop long enough to reflect on His solutions for your life, you'll see the delicate love that only a Creator can use. Thank Him, dear ones. We can only be so lucky to receive some of His teaching.

            Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition,                   with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. (Philippians 4:6)

Don't forget to pray in Jesus' name when you do and send your prayers of thanks and need to God - internally. Remember - go in, not up. Concentrate on it, meditate over it, feel it, lick it, stamp it and send it -- don't just say it.

A Quick Faith-Check

What a great story from Mark 9: 17 - 27.
 
A man in the crowd answered, "Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to drive out the spirit, but they could not."
"O unbelieving generation," Jesus replied, "how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me." So they brought him. When the spirit saw Jesus, it immediately threw the boy into a convulsion. He fell to the ground and rolled around, foaming at the mouth. Jesus asked the boy's father, "How long has he been like this?" "From childhood," he answered. "It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us." " 'If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes." Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief !" When Jesus saw that a crowd was running to the scene, he rebuked the evil spirit. "You deaf and mute spirit," he said, "I command you, come out of him and never enter him again." The spirit shrieked, convulsed him violently and came out. The boy looked so much like a corpse that many said, "He's dead." But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him to his feet, and he stood up. 

Oh, we of little faith. 

Why do I stand in awe when Jesus has answered my prayers? Don't get me wrong. I think a little awe is a good thing. It's always nice to be recognized a bit for your talents. But let's look at our faith in a different way.

What if you truly believed that Jesus was listening?
What if you truly believed He WILL and WANTS to answer your prayers?
What would you genuinely, on your knees, ask for?

This is not the genie-in-the-lamp concept here, folks. What do you need that would make your life at ease? What would make your life manageable so that you could turn more attention to HIS work? 

Faith is not a destination -- it's the journey. We don't want to have faith and be done with it. We need to understand that our faith grows and develops. The more we get it, the more we get. I'm not hoping for monetary gain, but I know that the better I'm listening to what He's telling me, the more I know He's listening to me when I need to tell Him something. Faith is the give and take. 

So ... back to the issue at hand ... how much faith are you giving and how much are you expecting to take?
  
What if you truly listened to Jesus?
What if you worked for His will?
What would you ask to do for Him?

I love to try and listen to the words of my Lord and how He would have sounded at the time. Don't read the scriptures in your Bible-voice, hear them as though you had taught your lessons for over two years and the folks were STILL doubting you could help. I think if we used a current translation for 2012, I would add a "Seriously?!" in there somewhere. My Lord is getting frustrated. Frustration is not a sin. He's wondering when the message is going to his. 'If you can?' he sarcastically questions. Allow me my interpretation. 'What do you mean, IF I can?? Seriously, sand-dwellers! If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times. I've got this!' 

If faith is give and take -- my Lord, the KING OF KINGS is telling you that He's ready to give AND take! He's giving you grace, peace, love... He's taking your burdens, your sins, your grief. He's wondering when we're going clue in as a group and take us up on His offer. But let's not worry about the group for now. Let's dig in deep, stand in AWE, and take what He has to offer for us personally. 

"Everything is possible for him who believes." Check your scripture again. Who said this? He's giving us hope and a plan. I'm ready to live with this idea every day. I don't need to know that good things will or won't happen - I just need to believe that it's possible. I need to know that I'm at the smorgasbord of something good. Reminds me of an oldie, but a goodie, from the Gaither group:

"Something beautiful, something good
All my confusion He understood
All I had to offer Him was brokenness and strife
But he made something beautiful of my life"

Exactly. This is what gets me EVERY TIME! He is giving me life and love. I only have pitiful gifts to give in return and yet this is exactly the plan. He wants us as He created us; the good, the bad and the ugly. I think He knows that when we are only able to give Him our brokenness that He has us completely. Don't be afraid to lay down your sins and sorrows at His feet. Those come with the best of bows and fancy paper to my King.




But please, don't wait until you're in need like the father in this story was. Believe now! Trust now! Talk to Him now! If He can get rid of a demon-spirit and raise the dead, He can certainly handle our issues. We need to remind ourselves that He truly wants to. Wouldn't you want your child to be demon-free?

C'mon... have a little faith.